Okay okay, since Boo came up with his own "Geeky Guide thingy", I thought I'd just start one too! Boo, I hope you won't bash me up for this. You won't mind would you? I know you won't because you're such a sweet gentle Boo Casanova, teeheehee...
Okay, right to it! Here are the steps to destroy a newly bought soft toy. I know your hooman will usually buy you a new soft toy every few days or weeks just like mine. What does this mean guys? YES, it's time for business! Okay doggies, get ready a pen & paper. Or maybe not. Just remember the steps because if you miss one or do it incorrectly, you may have to start all over again with another new toy. So, pay attention ya'll!
Here we go;
Make sure you choose a place where you'll feel comfortable destroying it. Once you've chosen, we may begin...(This killing process may take 10min or more)
Step 1) Nip off the thread slowly of the toy using your two front teeth.
Step 2) Once all taken off, de-stuff/de-bowel it! Dig out all its spongy organs till skin left. Make sure you don't eat the organs becoz they're not edible...
Step 3) Rip off body parts like the legs, nose, eyes, tail, backside, etc, etc. Everything!
Step 4) Tear body apart! Use two front paws to clamp it down on the floor and the use your two canine teeth to kill it! You may use your sister/brother volunteer to help you with this.
Step 5) Shake it violently & then leave it on the floor to rot. Leave all the stuffed organs & body parts on the floor too.
Step 6) Lie down on floor looking innocent & wait for your hooman to appear & see the gruesome discovery.
If your hooman screams, then that means you've successfully destroyed the toy! Well done! Oh & just be prepared for a little scolding from them, hehehehe...Don't worry, you'll survive through it.