My Loyal Followers

April 3, 2007

Amber's Guide For Dummies-How to destroy a new toy

Okay okay, since Boo came up with his own "Geeky Guide thingy", I thought I'd just start one too! Boo, I hope you won't bash me up for this. You won't mind would you? I know you won't because you're such a sweet gentle Boo Casanova, teeheehee...

This was the new toy 10 min ago...
Okay, right to it! Here are the steps to destroy a newly bought soft toy. I know your hooman will usually buy you a new soft toy every few days or weeks just like mine. What does this mean guys? YES, it's time for business! Okay doggies, get ready a pen & paper. Or maybe not. Just remember the steps because if you miss one or do it incorrectly, you may have to start all over again with another new toy. So, pay attention ya'll!

Here we go;
Make sure you choose a place where you'll feel comfortable destroying it. Once you've chosen, we may begin...(This killing process may take 10min or more)

Step 1)
Nip off the thread slowly of the toy using
your two front teeth.
Step 2)
Once all taken off, de-stuff/de-bowel it! Dig out all its
spongy organs till skin left. Make sure you don't eat the organs becoz they're not edible...
Step 3)
Rip off body parts like the legs, nose, ey
es, tail, backside, etc, etc. Everything!
Step 4)
Tear body apart! Use two front paws to clamp it down on the floor and the use your two canine teeth to kill it! You may use your sister/brother volunteer to help you with this.
Step 5)
Shake it violently & then leave it on the floor to rot. Leave all the stuffed organs & body parts on the floor too.


Those are all the stuffed organs taken out...
Step 6) Lie down on floor looking innocent & wait for your hooman to appear & see the gruesome discovery.

That's me looking innocent...
If your hooman screams, then that means you've successfully destroyed the toy! Well done! Oh & just be prepared for a little scolding from them, hehehehe...Don't worry, you'll survive through it.

23 comments:

macgoogle said...

Oh Amber,
We have so much in common but we are so different! We should tear up toys together sometime - we could pull them apart between us! It would be fun!

Love and Licks,
Texas (and his humans).

P.S. I love your blog place! It smells good - *sniffs your butt* Nice to meet you!

ChaCha & Yuki said...

a very good guide!! hahah. but my owner never buys soft toys for me...always rubber/rags. heh i guess she knows how evil i can be *wink*

Yuki

Pacco de Mongrel said...

hahah...ur owner still bother to snap ur pic after u destroy d toy? way to go man...

i think my owner will wack me instead...

but anyway, my never had any soft toys...coz my owner said that it'll get soak up wit all my saliva

Oscar Airedale said...

Wow, you REALLY destroy your toys!!!

For a terrier I am surprisingly gentle. I just like to eat their eyes. The rest survives very well, so much so that I still have the soft toys from when I was a teeny baby. Only one went in the bin from playing tuggy with my friend.

Licks
Oscar x

Boo said...

yeah yeah, texas said he managed to destroy a cuz! a rubber cuz! you two should join forces on how to destroy toys!!!!!

so, what toy next??

wet wet licks

Boo

Simba said...

Thats how all my stuffed toys end up. Mummy won't buy me any more now.

Simba xx

Simba said...

Thats how all my stuffed toys end up. Mummy won't buy me any more now.

Simba xx

umekotyan said...

One of the missions of the dog is in the destruction of the toy.
It is the same anywhere all over the world. :)
hahaha

From loved ume tyan

3 Furballs said...

Oh gosh..look what happened to the toy! Tinkerbell destroys most toys except her bear. She licks it and carries it around the house!

Billy said...

Oh Amber, you were on a destroy mission for sure! Did your hooman scream at you?? I hope they weren't too upset but then again, they shouldn't have left it where you could get it right??

Hugs from Billy Boo:)

Amber said...

You tear the doll to tiny pieces, scary... :3
The last picture with the one part of the doll just look like a mouse or something *like a quick glance* XD
I usually like to bite the doll's tail first >:3

Furkids in Hong Kong said...

That's one of Cream and Hiba's favourite pastimes too! Mark doesn't join in as he's never been a toy-lover.

Amber, you know this buying stuffed toys for our kids is beginning to be a little expensive....... :D

Later!

Amber-Mae said...

McGoogle- Heya Texas & hooman! Thanks for dropping by my bloggy. yeah, we should! I would love to hear my soft toy animals scream when we pull them apart...It's so fun! Thanks for your comment by the way & very nice meeting you & your hooman!

Chacha&Yuki- Oh rags are fun too! When I was a young pup, i used to shake it violently & then then come back for it later. i also loved to take my time pulling each string out from the carpet my hoomans place on the floors outside the toilets & bedrooms.

Oscar- Oh YES I do!!! Actually, two months ago, I hated playing with soft toys. But ever since my mommy brought back Mr.Teddy & then my sista Chloe played with it, I decided to join in the fun. It's actually alot of FUN! I never realized that...I'm always very fond with rubber balls but sometimes, sticking to one things is not so fun at all.

Boo- Oh, I've already destroyed both Mr. Red Cuz & Mrs.Orange Cuz. I bit off their legs & their noisy squeeky backsides. Don't think my hoomans will be buying me another Cuz becoz 1st of all, they're not that cheap & 2ndly, I tend to destroy them within 5 min. So, now my hoomans decided that I stick with my usual cheaper rubber balls...LOL!

Simba- Oh, that's just so sad dear Simba. You can share with my toys...

Ume- Yah, that's right! Which dog in this world doesn't destroy a toy? Even a stray does it...

3Furballs- Lick it? Oh that's so cute...I used to nurse the soft toys when I was in this false pregnancy thingy.

Billy- YES they did!!! I just lied down on the floor quietly & just pointed at Chloe for doing it! Heeeheee...

Amber- Yeah, I agree. It does look like a little mousy! Well, a dead little mousy...

FurkidsHK- Actually, my hommans buy me the cheap human toys in the supermarket. They're usually on promotion price. That teddybear toy cost only RM2 here in Malaysia. In US$8 & in UK$12. Quite cheap huh?

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

Huskee Boy said...

Hello Amber,
I Luuuuurrrve to destroy my toys too, especially those that squeaks!! My mum always complains that all her money is going to waste cos I am just tearing up my toys.. hehehee

Suki said...

I'll have to try your method, Amber. It sounds similar to my own, but I haven't actually officially "de-stuffed" a toy - yet. I plan on trying it soon, though.

Puggy kisses
Suki

Nanook The Newfoundland said...

amber - you have to get a tuffies rumble ring! They are largely indestructible and tested by tigers! Really and truly, honest to god tigers!

http://www.sitstay.com/store/toys/soft3.shtml

sydney said...

ooooh my mommy actually buys me soft toys..... she knows I don't eat them as I would the other hard toys..... she doesn't mind really... I have a cool mommy.
I hope your mommy didn't yell at you.....

sydney said...

oh ps by the way you have been taged.

*Sasha* said...

Oh My Amber....u r a champion...could hardly believe my eyes to see the result of the destruction!!! hhahaha...way to go...well...mommy hardly bought any soft toys for me...but the only one i hv at home, still in good shape...hehehehe...guess i am not as strong as you...but i enjoyed tugging the toys with my sis...

Fu Fu said...

Hee Hee Amber, the old toys must go before you get new ones right. :)

~ fufu

Boo Boo said...

Hi Amber,

Great Job ! That's so cool !!!

Thanks for visiting my blog :) I like you blog, its cool.

Bond
goldenbond.blogspot.com

PS : I can only sign in using my brother's account :P

Molly said...

amber amber.. tat is really a great guide to those young puppies :D

kakaka ! last time mommy went to s'pore to buy me one too. and it cost her 20 sing' dollars for that adorable teddy.... and then, after 10 min with me the teddy, mommy scream out loud !

cant blame us isnt it? teddies are just too adorable until we feel like biting out of love :D

Quinvale AstaLaVista Baby said...

Hi Amber,
Excellent work with the toy! I like to do that to my dad's CD-Rom thingies! xxx Asta